We all know those depths.
It can come in waves of despair over finances, over relationships. It can come as feelings of your health deteriorating and so much more.
Up.
The direction of hope, of faith and mercy. The direction we lift our weary eyes to in hopes of feeling assurance from our heavenly father, to feel the love we seem to somehow be missing out on at that time.
Of course as a growing child of God, I’ve learned to let go and let God, just as we are instructed to over and over in the bible.
Come to me, all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. – Matthew 11:28
Cast your burden on the LORD, and he shall sustain you: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved. – Psalm 55:22
But its always been one thing,
One thing at a time.
A lost job.
An illness.
A bad relationship.
Is that truly trusting God with your life?
Little did I know that this was shaping up to be the year we will find out!
It all started the last week of March, when Randall comes in and tells me he has lost his night job. I felt like the example of a true Christian – I told him that God answered our prayers – that even though we’d have less money on paper, we were gaining so much more. I knew God had this and never blinked and eye. I watched things fall into an order and never looked back, nor do I plan to if things look shaky, because God is in control.
That same week, my nephew totaled his car on the way to school. No one was hurt by the grace of God. Here comes acceleration. Down
….down….
down.
The first Friday of April, the phone call came. Dad had fallen and needed to go to the hospital. The next seven weeks and five days were filled with frustration, confusion, stress and fear that I can get into some other time. It all came to a head when the hero of my girlhood drew his last earthly breath on Wednesday morning, May 20th, at about 5:20 in the morning,
I spent every night from April 3rd on sleeping anywhere from 3 to 4 hours, forcing myself into an exhaustion like I’ve never felt. I have steadily become weaker and sicker. I’m looking up.
So, here I am. A broken, fatherless woman who sets, ashamed of the effort that she’s made to keep her house a home, the jobs of wife and mother that she’s done. It was the first time in a while since I’d seen either of my sisters, and felt pitied by them both. I love my sisters, but I hate pity. I’m looking up.
It’s time to surrender my all to my Lord and let him make me all He has intended. Its time to let everyone else see it happen and use this platform as my testimony. I want others to follow along, to see how things change, how much more blessed my family and I will be. I’m going to have Prayer Requests for my family and I, should you be a prayer warrior. If you are not, who knows – you may become by the end of this.
So, welcome, to my family journey, There will be tears and trials, treasures and triumphs, and I look forward to every minute of it!
About the last 24 hours:
Waking blood Sugar this morning:
156
