Historical Day X 2

So, today I get up at 6:00, feeling pretty darn awake, considering I fell asleep about 1:30, making at 3:00 and was awake for nearly another hour, so about two hours of sleep for me.

It was quite a historic day. Here we are on the dawn of a new presidency, full of historic significance. Our president elect will be the oldest president sworn in in history, and bring with him the first son to live in the white house since JFK Jr. 

When Daniel got up, I had him finish his electoral college vote tally that he started last night, adding Pennsylvania to his tally to figure out who won the election. It was so much fun to watch his face light up at the revelation.

We had a light school day since we were both tired, and I took a lil nap in the afternoon, before heading to church for Daniel to go to choir. Randall and I ran to Wal Mart and picked up some more things for Thanksgiving dinner (shelf stable items) before heading back to pick up Daniel and head home for the evening.

It was while we were headed back I realized the date. November 9. It had been one year since I was released from the hospital. A whole year.

One year ago today, I spent an anxious morning and early afternoon waiting to be released. I remember Randall wheeling me to the van, and I remember  opening the door, thinking about how hard it was to get up into it the last time I had. I stepped up and geared up to hoist myself in, and hopped right in! A pleasant surprise, The next suprse came just seconds later when I realized that I no longer nearly filled up with entire space on that side, and I was able to easily fasten my seat-belt, which I had gotten to where I would not get it around my swollen belly.

When we got hoime, with the help of a walker, I shuffled up the sidewalk and had another flashback - the steps. Oh how hard they were. I saw the brand new railing that Randall and our Landlord put in for me and silently prayed that it would help. I sent up with steps with no issues. It was a relief to say the least.

I was still weak, but able to get around, including sleeping in the bed, which I hadn;t done in months before leaving.

Today, I am thankful for the additional mobility - no walkers, although I do still use the scooters when we go to the store. My knees have been bothering me a lot laterly, and its been very discouraging, but hwne I think back to where I was a year ago, I am reminded how far I have come.

Praise God, and God bless our President elect,

Happy Halloween!

Ahhh Halloween. Its the day of magic for Daniel. He gets to dress up and gets tons of sugary treats - what could be better??

Growing up, I rarely wore a store bought costume. My Mom would always make mine, and I always won the costume contests in school, thanks to her creativity and ingenuity. I wanted to emulate her with Daniel from the start.

Then came my downward spiral. I still managed to make his costume, but I rode around in the back of the van for trick or treat, while Daniel, his cousins and his Nee Nee would walk the neighborhood. It was quite embarrassing.

One year ago, I was in Avante. I was slowly getting stronger, able to take PT and talk again. Randall brought Daniel to me to help him dress in a store bought costume of Robin from Teen Titans Go. I tried to make it my own by having Randall get him a black wig which I spiked with hair gel. But I missed it. All of it. Not even a ride in the back of the van.

This year, Daniel was sporting a mama original again, and I resumed my place in the back of the van....






This time, instead of being upset about riding, I was thrilled to be participating. Another plus? I got back into my jack o lantern capris and my pumpkin shirt for the festivities - haven't been able to even think about squeezing into them in at least three years!

The goal for next year? Hoofing it around myself!!

Trunks of Treats

Our church has been hosting a trunk of treats since 2014. The first year, we participated, and it was a blast. So much so that we immediately planned our theme for 2015 - we were going to do a trunk based off of the movie Up.

Fast forward to 2015 - the best laid plans, as they say. Trunk of Treats was held on September 25.
On that day, I was 10 days post op from my tracheotomy, and just a bit over a week since I was transferred from Orange Park Medical to Specialty Hospital, which was actually my favorite of the three places I stayed, if there is such a thing as a favorite.

Randall got Daniel dressed in his costume, and took him to the church. I wouldn't have had it any other way - I already felt like I had presented so many family memories with my immobility as I declined over the last few years, and wasn't about to stand in the way of this, too.
On their way home, they stopped by and visited me. The memory is more what I have been told happened than actual remembrance.

This year, we had retribution. I worked hours preparing our costumes, the decor for the van. And then came trunk of treats night...

The van was decked out too...






We had so much fun - everyone loved our theme, and its so wonderful to open up and minister to all of these families.

Thank you, Jesus, for all that you have done for me, for us.

I Don't Believe in Coincindences

Sunday morning, we got up and went to church as usual, although I spent a lot of  time sitting on Saturday, listing new items in the ebay store. So much time in fact, I was stiff and achy. I have to admit that that I was getting a little discouraged.

Anytime I have a bad day, it sends me into a mini panic that things are headed down the rabbit hole that I was falling into pre - hospital stay.

The heat had been causing a few little blisters to form and my ankles are swelling daily. I can't seem to take into account that I am no longer taking a daily water pill and just freak.

Sunday afternoon came quickly and we headed back to church for an award ceremony for Daniel to get his 3rd grade memory work trophy. I was thinking about how bad my legs had started to look. I had Randall take a pic of them later that same evening....

The only reason I wanted these pics was for comparison. Comparison to what, you ask? While we were sitting and waiting for the ceremony to start, Randall happened to come across a set of pics on his phone, of my legs, that we took when I was having them wrapped last year. We took them because they were looking so much better than they had been, and I was so excited and watned to show them to my Mom.....

I asked him if he knew when they were taken, so he checked.
July 24, 2015.
Exactly one year ago.

I don't believe in coincidences. I believe 100% that God had Randall find these pictures as His encouragement to keep looking at the bigger picture, at how far I have one in one short year. It totally worked, too. Thank you, Lord.

VBS Then, Then, Then and Now

Vacation Bible School has been a favorite of Daniel's since he went back in Kindergarten.  The Theme that year was Colossal Coaster. He had a ball. By the end of the week, he was pretty tuckered, and I was worn out. I thought about how neat it would be to volunteer to help out next year.

Next year came, the theme was Agency D3. He was in first grade, and was so excited. I took him diligently each day, although it was so hard on me. While the thoughts of volunteering was fleeting, I just knew that I'd get back into shape in time to volunteer next year.

Next year, which was last year, came. Not only was I not in shape enough to volunteer, I was not even well enough to take him. I spent the week shedding guilty tears to myself, knowing that I was the only reason he was missing a week that he so looked forward to each summer.

 As VBS time approached this year, I realized, I was well enough to volunteer this year. I was so excited - probably as excited as Daniel was. So, as the days for our Sumerged VBS arrived, Randall joined in, taking a week off of work to volunteer, too....

It was a long, hard week, but we went all week, then to Sunday School where our teacher said he was surprised to see us, figuring I'd be too worn out to be there that day. Not only were we there, we went to VBS Family night that night, getting a chance to hear Daniel sing before the festivities....

 

I'll admit that I nearly didn't make it out to the street with everyone for my aching legs, and that I grouched around, but it was fun, and I did make it.  

 

 

2078 children were registered that week, with an average daily attendance of 1731.

168 children prayed to receive Christ, and we got to see 16 kids baptised that last night.

Praise God!!!  

 

So very thankful for the ability to serve at long last. 

A Year Ago, and A Year Before That...A New Meaning for Independence Day

July 4th. When we as Americans celebrate our independence. Yet, these last few years, I have been anything but.

Let's get into the wayback machine....

July 4, 2014.
I sat on the couch.
All day.
We went no where.
Randall grilled, and nightfall came. He and Daniel went out onto the screened back porch to light sparklers. I shuffled out and sat om the steps with them, and came right back in after the last spark went out.

July 4, 2015.
I sat on the couch.
All day. We went no where.
Daniel and Randall went to the porch with sparklers. I stayed on the couch.

July 4, 2016.
I got up, packed up some online sales, then got some ribs on for the cookout we were going to take to Mom's later.
Randall went out to mow, and I crushed up some herbs that I grew, harvested and dried. He came in and said that our neighbor had stopped by and told us to get some of the tomatoes that she had growing in her yard. I packed up the herbs in containers and took them to her, and picked a whole bowlful of beauties.....

 

Then, we went to Mom's, where instead of heading in the kitchen, parking my butt at the table and not moving for the whole visit, I went outside to watch the kids have a water battle....

 

Then go back in for the cookout, only to come back out as the sun got lower to have some s'mores for dessert...

 

Followed by sparklers, smoke bombs and a few other shiny things....

 

It was the best day so far. So thankful for a wonderful day with loved ones. Its been so much fun, making up for lost time....

 

 

About a Year Ago....Lab Work: What a Comparison

About a year ago, I went to have blood work done at a local lab. I cant even remember what it was for. Not surprising, as my mind was not very sharp back then, likely due to too little oxygen.

Randall and Daniel went with me - it was a Saturday morning. I couldn't drive then - I was so swelled I couldn't fit behind the wheel. Not that I felt like driving to start with. Randall had to help me up on the curb and I shuffled in. He signed me in,  and I thankfully found a bench to sit on, as I couldn't fit in the chairs. I got called back and struggled to get to the sign in booth, sitting on the edge of the chair. I slowly got up and went around the corner to wait my turn, having to stand to wait - I couldn't sit.

I got called in and struggled to get up into the chair to have my blood drawn. It was high and I didn't have the strength to get up on it well, not to mention, again, I was too big to sit back too far. I wedged my way into it and the phlebotomist put the arm across the front, closing in over my stomach. She really couldn't get it to lock down, and tried her best to pretend like it didn't happen, trying to make me feel less horrified. I got the draw done and slowly made my way out of the lab, having to rely on Randall to help me step off the curb and get back into the van to leave. It wore me out for the entire day.

Today, I went to the lab for blood work whose results will dictate whether or not I can quit taking blood thinners or have to remain on them for my lifetime.

I drove myself to the lab.
I walked right up to the door after stepping up onto the curb, by myself.
I signed myself in.
I took a seat on a bench, more out of the underlying flashbacks.
I got called to the sign in booth, hopped right up and sat down in the chair with no issue.
I went to the secondary waiting and sat in a chair with room to spare.
I got called in, hopped right up into the chair and slid back so far that my feet left the ground. I bent my knees far enough back to put them on the little bar underneath the chair.
The phlebotomist came in, asked me to put down the arm, and I did, with plenty of room to spare,
I got my draw, hopped down and walked right out to the van, got in and made my way home, out of the van, up the stairs and back in the house, unassisted.

It's the little things that mean so much now. Thank you Jesus. 

A Year Ago Today...

A Year ago today....

I woke in my usual spot on our broken down sofa, where I "slept". Randall and Daniel slept in out nice comfy sleigh bed, a bad I could no longer sleep in  because I couldn't throw my legs up onto it - it was just too high for me.

I use sleep as a figurative word, because I hardly ever got any. Before lights out, Randall would help me situate a pile of pillows behind me to try to get as comfortable as possible, sitting upright with my left leg as far up onto the sofa as possible, my right leg usually hanging down to the floor. I couldn't lay down - I couldn't breathe. Lights out at 10:00, and they'd stay out for a few hours. By 12:30 or so, I'd take a yard stick and reach with it to turn on the lights, and watch TV until about 3:00, until I was so exhausted that I could possibly get a bit more sleep. I'd turn the lights back off until Randall would get up about 6:00.

I spent the day sitting on the couch, having Randall and Daniel get me things, like water or food. It was father's day, but I didn't cook for Randall, I couldn't stand up that long. I thought a lot about my Dad, since it was the first father's day I'd spent without him. It's been a month since his death, so it was very fresh and raw. Yet, I didn't seem to get as upset as I felt like I should.

Then came the afternoon. I needed to go to the bathroom, so I asked Randall to help me up - I couldn't get off of the couch on my own. He pushed the coffee table back and planted his feet and reached for me. We did our usual "1..2..3.." and he pulled on my hands, but this time, instead of standing, I felt my legs buckle. Randall tried so hard to pull me up, but it was so painful, I ended up on my knees in the floor and begged him to let go. I had to get off of my knees, but my legs were so stiff I had to lay down to straighten them out, then sit up as quickly as possible. First I thought I was going to be able to use a chair and get myself up. I'm not sure what I was thinking - I couldn't even stand from the sofa.

I was at a total loss - what was I going to do? I sat on the floor for over 3 hours, scooting around on my butt, trying in vain to find a way to pull myself up. Mortified, I finally agreed to allow Randall to call 911. Within two minutes, we had a fire truck in front of the house. About 4 guys came in and were so kind. They made me feel so less self conscious, like they see this sort of thing all of the time. They took a sheet and ran it across my back at my shoulder blades and hooked it under my arm pits, bringing the ends around the front of me. There was one on each side of me, and one at the back, grabbed the back of my pants and in a 1 2 3, they raised me off of the floor, just like that, right onto my feet. They made sure I was steady, and I hobbled back to the sofa, thanking them profusely.

It took 4 grown men to lift me. Here I was, 420+ pounds, my legs so swollen that I could barely bend them, not to mention my 3X shirts so tight that my belly just hung out of them. I was in so much pain all of the time, and just genuinely miserable. My legs full of open, weeping sores, just wondering if everytime I closed my eyes was I ever going to open them again. I said my usual prayer for God to keep me alive, to somehow save me from this mess so I could watch my child grow up, so I could be the mother and wife I wanted to be, that they deserved.

On this date one year later....

I woke after a full night's sleep in my comfortable bed. I got up stuffy, the remnants of a horrible cold I am getting over, a cold that I am convinced had I caught this time last year, would have killed me.

I hopped on the scale...I am 349. I recently dug some older shirts out to wear, as my 3x shirts hang so very loose on me, and my 3x shorts hang off of my rear quite comically.

I listed some new items in my ebay store before heading to the kitchen and doing dishes.

 I ran the vacuum, made breakfast for Daniel, later made him lunch, gave him a bath and cleaned the bathroom.

I administered OTC cold meds to the entire family as needed, and did a few other odds and ends. I felt awesome, cold and all.

I didn't even take a water pill, and only had some mild swelling in my ankles that evening, mostly due to the extra activity.

I know I have a long way to go before I am as strong as I once was, but oh what a difference a year makes. I have only God to thank for this, and can't wait to compare this year to next.

B n B 2.0!

Welcome to the newest "upgrade" to  Blueberries and Blessings!

Borrowing a phrase from Daniel, I decided to call this phase of my blog 2.0, as the balance of focus has shifted from scrapping to survive, to recovery and beyond. Definitely an upgrade!

I plan on looking back on the previous year each day that I post my new "A YEAR AGO TODAY" posts, and comparing various aspects of my quality of life, or lack thereof, just to help me focus on how far I have come, and never forget where I have been. I never want to get into a position of taking my life for granted, and I'm hoping by remembering these daily struggles, I will remain as grateful as I am today, if not moreso.

I have some vivid memories of tomorrow, so these posts will start then, but my excitement to watch myself continue to develop into all that God wants me to be is so thrilling. I am so happy to be able to share it with all of you, or at least those of you who might be still around!  

Two Weeks Down

Short and sweet...

Randall started at 283 - after one week: 271.  This week: 267. He lost 4 pounds, a total of 16 pounds.

I weighed in at 358 .8 --  after one week: 344.8.  This week 339.8 I lost 5 pounds a total of 19 pounds.

I've got some sort of stomach thing going on. Feeling rather icky. Hope to be back on soon.

RECIPE: Chicken Pesto Pasta Salad {Whole30, Paleo, Low Carb}

On our third day of following Whole30, I decided to make a salad, but didn't want your run of the mill salad. I found one in a magazine and got so excited about it. 

The original recipe had a few extra ingredients, and called for the zucchini to be spiralized. Naturally, I couldn't find my spiralizer, so I pulled out my veggie peeler and made ribbons instead,.  

 

It was the best meal we had all week! It will make regular rotation for us, during the Whole30 and beyond. It was refreshing and oh so flavorful, not to mention easy to throw together. Randall already told me that the next time I make it I need to double the recipe.

 

I figured what better day to share a lovely green dish than on St. Patrick's Day? The pics aren't the greatest - I took them with my phone just seconds before the entire bowl disappeared. I promise you you'll love it!!

Chicken Pesto Pasta Salad {Whole 30, Paleo, Low Carb}

Ingredients:

1-2 large zucchini, cut into thin ribbons or spiralized

2 c. cooked chicken, cubed / shredded into chunks

1 bunch fresh basil

1 bunch fresh parsley

2 cloves garlic

3 tbsp olive oil

2 tsp lemon juice

1 c grape tomatoes, cur in half

salt & pepper to taste

Instructions:

Place chicken and zucchini in a bowl

Add Basil, Parsley, lemon juice, garlic, salt and pepper to a food processor

Pulse until you achieve a pourable consistency, adding a few tablespoons of water if needed

Pour over chicken and zucchini and toss until coated

add tomatoes and fold in carefully

adjust seasonings and serve immediately or chill first

adapted from Paleo Magazine

 

Whole30: One Week Down...Our Progress So Far

Here we are starting our second week, and what a difference a week makes!

In case you missed the day one post, here is our comparison:

Randall weighed 283 - THIS MORNING: 271. He lost 12 pounds

I weighed in at 358 .8 -- THIS MORNING: 344.8. I lost 14 pounds!!

My fasting blood sugar was 157. THIS MORNING: 114. Down 43 points!!

My overall feeling right now is some slight nausea, definite gas, and joint pain especially my knees. I look forward to seeing all of these things change this month. THIS MORNING: I haven't felt this good in years - no nausea, no tummy issues at all, and my joint pain is GONE. Not lower....GONE.

Randall feels better too. Both of our moods have improved.

I decided to take a progress pic yesterday, just for historical sake. When I first looked at it I thought "Aw man, look how huge I am....I look no different." Then I looked at the only "before" pic I had. To think it wasn't even the heaviest I got. Wow.

Now I'm at 109 pounds lost - the most I've ever lost in one "try". I hit 100 lost in 2009, and immediately started going back up. Speaking of most....who loses 14 pounbds in one week? The lost I've ever lost in one week is 6.5.

I prayed for weeks asking God to help me find something that would be healthy for me and help me lose the weight and I know He guided me here. I am so happy and so blessed! Daniel is going to finally have the parents he deserves. It can't get any better than that!

I'll summarize the rest of the week's foods in another post later today. In the meantime, please, join me in a happy dance!!

Whole30: Day Four

More progress! I'm now down about seven pounds Randall's down 8.

Wednesday night we went to the store and picked up a few things that I was so excited about. 

One was tomato juice as I'm getting really tired of drinking only water. Another was some sausage that did not contain anything we shouldn't have.

Breakfast consisted of two of those sausages, along with a few baby heirloom tomatoes and some avocado along with a big ol glass of tomato juice. I was so full I felt like I had just eaten 

Thanksgiving dinner. It was crazy.

 

Lunch I also got some ground chicken breast and I made some homemade sausage and had two patties and an apple for lunch.

 

Dinner was tomatillo chicken soup. I really liked it but it wasn't a favorite of Randall. I think the acidity of the tomatillos didn't sit too well with his taste buds.

 

The only snacks I had or handful of sunflower seeds and a few plantain chips.

I've realized that the true Whole30 does not want you snacking. I told Randall This and like he said right now things seem to be working well for us so why change it as long as we're both happy and satisfied? So we decided unless we hit a plateau will keep going as is.

 My blood sugar was 118 again today and I'm good with that.

As day five is nearly over I'll be reporting on it tomorrow, but going into the weekend has me thinking. It's usually when we always cheated on our other diets. We're also so busy, it's sometimes hard not to just grab something somewhere. I know we can do this. Can't wait to report what happens!

The Anatomy of a Cheeto

With all the focus on processed foods  I looked at the ingredients on a bag of Cheetos the other day.

 Just to look at the list,  it seems not so bad. I mean after all, there's four ingredients: cornmeal, oil, cheese seasoning and salt.

But you need to delve into it a little deeper. First of all, I don't understand why we take whole grains and strip them of all their God-given nutrients then enrich them by adding synthetic nutrients back into them. Such is the case of the "enriched" corn meal used as you will see in the broken down list I have below.

 Then let's look at the cheese seasoning. The sheer number of ingredients is flabbergasting.But I also added the research I did on the individual ingredients to show you just how ' healthy' they really are.

Hopefully you'll be as disgusted as I was.

This is one measly little snack food. The shelves in the grocery stores are filed what foods just like these. So many chemicals... so many things that our bodies just don't need.

I'll never be able to look at Cheetos the same way again.

 

INGREDIENTS:

Enriched Corn meal

• Corn Meal
• Ferrous Sulfate
• Thiamin Mononitrate
• Riboflavin
• Folic Acid

Vegetable Oil

• Corn
• Canola
• Sunflower 

Cheese Seasoning

• Whey
• Cheddar Cheese
• Milk
• Cheese Cultures
• Salt
• Enzymes
• Canola Oil
• Malodextrin - The consumption of maltodextrin has similar side effects and health risks as most food additives. These side effects include allergic reactions, unexplained weight gain, bloating and flatulence. Specific allergic reactions associated with the use of maltodextrin include rash, asthma, itching and difficulty breathing.
• Salt
• Whey Protein Concentrate
• Monosodium Glutamate - Over the years, the FDA has received many anecdotal reports of adverse reactions to foods containing MSG. These reactions — known as MSG symptom complex — include: Headache, Flushing, Sweating. Facial pressure or tightness, Numbness, tingling or burning in the face, neck and other areas, Rapid, fluttering heartbeats (heart palpitations), Chest pain, Nausea,  and Weakness.
•  Natural and Artificial Flavors, Lactic Acid
• Citric Acid
• Artificial Color - Yellow 6 - Yellow dye # 6 contains known carcinogens and contaminants that unnecessarily increase the risks of cancer, hyperactivity in children and allergic reactions.

Salt

Whole30: Day Three

Another awesome day in the books with more progress both felt and observed.

First...both Randall and I weighed...we are both down five pounds! I also took my fasting blood sugar again...it went from 157 to 131 to....118!! I'm absolutely thrilled. I also had much less joint pain yesterday.... Virtually none in the morning and only mild pain in the evening. I can't believe the difference in just three days!

But I digress...on to the food...

Breakfast: two over easy eggs on top of minimally processed turkey lunchmeat with grape tomatoes on the side.

 

Lunch: Egg salad with celery, canola may, Dijon mustard...with a side of black olives.

 

Dinner: Chicken pesto pasta salad. The pasta was ribbons of zucchini. This was amazing....I'll share the recipe soon!

 

Snacks were a banana, a few slices of uncured salami, one handful of plantain chips and some pickled okra.

Looking forward to tomorrow!!