The response was so amazing that I decided I'd share it on here. Only God know who this will reach, and if it helps even one person in their walk, then it was worth putting it out here for the world to see.
My Evolution and Birth as a Christian
Like many people my age, I was raised in a loving home with parents who taught me to be kind and respectful and taught me right from wrong. We went to church on Sundays and were good people during the week. I always thought that was enough.
I lived at home until my late twenties. When I moved out, I got lonely and made new friends, but I always felt like something was missing. I knew that most of the friends I made did not share my values on life, but I told myself that as long as I stayed good, it didn’t matter. Over time, I felt a bigger and bigger hole in my heart and I desperately tried to fill it, hanging out with my new friends more, trying to fit in more by being more and more like them. Instead of making things better, they just got worse. Eventually, I hit an all time low - I lost my job and several friends in the process. I struggled so much, I felt so lost.
I well remember the day I fell to my knees in my bedroom and cried out to God, telling Him how very sorry that I had turned my back on Him, that even though I believed, I never truly accepted. I was ready. I asked Jesus to cleanse me from all that I had ever done that was not pleasing to Him, and thanked Him for this miraculous gift that I knew I didn’t deserve. I sobbed for nearly an hour, just pouring out my heart to Him. When I said amen, He dried my tears.
I felt as if the world had been lifted from my shoulders instantly. Even facing the issues I had before me, I had a peace in my heart I had not known. I knew no matter what would happen, God would bring me through it.
2015 was one of the hardest years I have ever had. We lost about half of our monthly household income in March due to a layoff. I’ve never let our financial status worry me, as I truly believe that God will always provide, even when it seems impossible. That’s faith in my heart.
My father died in May, after declining health. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don't miss him, yet, I know I will see him again one day. That’s peace in my heart.
My beloved little shih-tzu that I have had for 16 years died in June. I miss him so much, and shed many tears over him, but I know God didn’t let him suffer for a long time. That is gratitude in my heart.
In September, I was admitted to the hospital with multiple infections, reduced kidney function, abnormal heart function and blood clots in both lungs. I couldn’t be weaned off of a ventilator and had to have a tracheotomy. At one point, I had 9 IV bags flowing various antibiotics and other medicines into my veins. My Mom, who just lost my Dad 4 months earlier, told me she had already started planning my funeral. I had so many people praying for me in churches all over the country, it just humbles me beyond belief. I know in my heart that God heard those prayers. It took 10 weeks, but I left the hospital 100 pounds lighter with a few scars to remember my ordeal with, and every day, I get a little stronger. That, my friend, is Jesus in my heart. He’s waiting to live in yours, too.
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