Trunks of Treats

Our church has been hosting a trunk of treats since 2014. The first year, we participated, and it was a blast. So much so that we immediately planned our theme for 2015 - we were going to do a trunk based off of the movie Up.

Fast forward to 2015 - the best laid plans, as they say. Trunk of Treats was held on September 25.
On that day, I was 10 days post op from my tracheotomy, and just a bit over a week since I was transferred from Orange Park Medical to Specialty Hospital, which was actually my favorite of the three places I stayed, if there is such a thing as a favorite.

Randall got Daniel dressed in his costume, and took him to the church. I wouldn't have had it any other way - I already felt like I had presented so many family memories with my immobility as I declined over the last few years, and wasn't about to stand in the way of this, too.
On their way home, they stopped by and visited me. The memory is more what I have been told happened than actual remembrance.

This year, we had retribution. I worked hours preparing our costumes, the decor for the van. And then came trunk of treats night...

The van was decked out too...






We had so much fun - everyone loved our theme, and its so wonderful to open up and minister to all of these families.

Thank you, Jesus, for all that you have done for me, for us.

I Don't Believe in Coincindences

Sunday morning, we got up and went to church as usual, although I spent a lot of  time sitting on Saturday, listing new items in the ebay store. So much time in fact, I was stiff and achy. I have to admit that that I was getting a little discouraged.

Anytime I have a bad day, it sends me into a mini panic that things are headed down the rabbit hole that I was falling into pre - hospital stay.

The heat had been causing a few little blisters to form and my ankles are swelling daily. I can't seem to take into account that I am no longer taking a daily water pill and just freak.

Sunday afternoon came quickly and we headed back to church for an award ceremony for Daniel to get his 3rd grade memory work trophy. I was thinking about how bad my legs had started to look. I had Randall take a pic of them later that same evening....

The only reason I wanted these pics was for comparison. Comparison to what, you ask? While we were sitting and waiting for the ceremony to start, Randall happened to come across a set of pics on his phone, of my legs, that we took when I was having them wrapped last year. We took them because they were looking so much better than they had been, and I was so excited and watned to show them to my Mom.....

I asked him if he knew when they were taken, so he checked.
July 24, 2015.
Exactly one year ago.

I don't believe in coincidences. I believe 100% that God had Randall find these pictures as His encouragement to keep looking at the bigger picture, at how far I have one in one short year. It totally worked, too. Thank you, Lord.

VBS Then, Then, Then and Now

Vacation Bible School has been a favorite of Daniel's since he went back in Kindergarten.  The Theme that year was Colossal Coaster. He had a ball. By the end of the week, he was pretty tuckered, and I was worn out. I thought about how neat it would be to volunteer to help out next year.

Next year came, the theme was Agency D3. He was in first grade, and was so excited. I took him diligently each day, although it was so hard on me. While the thoughts of volunteering was fleeting, I just knew that I'd get back into shape in time to volunteer next year.

Next year, which was last year, came. Not only was I not in shape enough to volunteer, I was not even well enough to take him. I spent the week shedding guilty tears to myself, knowing that I was the only reason he was missing a week that he so looked forward to each summer.

 As VBS time approached this year, I realized, I was well enough to volunteer this year. I was so excited - probably as excited as Daniel was. So, as the days for our Sumerged VBS arrived, Randall joined in, taking a week off of work to volunteer, too....

It was a long, hard week, but we went all week, then to Sunday School where our teacher said he was surprised to see us, figuring I'd be too worn out to be there that day. Not only were we there, we went to VBS Family night that night, getting a chance to hear Daniel sing before the festivities....

 

I'll admit that I nearly didn't make it out to the street with everyone for my aching legs, and that I grouched around, but it was fun, and I did make it.  

 

 

2078 children were registered that week, with an average daily attendance of 1731.

168 children prayed to receive Christ, and we got to see 16 kids baptised that last night.

Praise God!!!  

 

So very thankful for the ability to serve at long last. 

A Year Ago, and A Year Before That...A New Meaning for Independence Day

July 4th. When we as Americans celebrate our independence. Yet, these last few years, I have been anything but.

Let's get into the wayback machine....

July 4, 2014.
I sat on the couch.
All day.
We went no where.
Randall grilled, and nightfall came. He and Daniel went out onto the screened back porch to light sparklers. I shuffled out and sat om the steps with them, and came right back in after the last spark went out.

July 4, 2015.
I sat on the couch.
All day. We went no where.
Daniel and Randall went to the porch with sparklers. I stayed on the couch.

July 4, 2016.
I got up, packed up some online sales, then got some ribs on for the cookout we were going to take to Mom's later.
Randall went out to mow, and I crushed up some herbs that I grew, harvested and dried. He came in and said that our neighbor had stopped by and told us to get some of the tomatoes that she had growing in her yard. I packed up the herbs in containers and took them to her, and picked a whole bowlful of beauties.....

 

Then, we went to Mom's, where instead of heading in the kitchen, parking my butt at the table and not moving for the whole visit, I went outside to watch the kids have a water battle....

 

Then go back in for the cookout, only to come back out as the sun got lower to have some s'mores for dessert...

 

Followed by sparklers, smoke bombs and a few other shiny things....

 

It was the best day so far. So thankful for a wonderful day with loved ones. Its been so much fun, making up for lost time....

 

 

About a Year Ago....Lab Work: What a Comparison

About a year ago, I went to have blood work done at a local lab. I cant even remember what it was for. Not surprising, as my mind was not very sharp back then, likely due to too little oxygen.

Randall and Daniel went with me - it was a Saturday morning. I couldn't drive then - I was so swelled I couldn't fit behind the wheel. Not that I felt like driving to start with. Randall had to help me up on the curb and I shuffled in. He signed me in,  and I thankfully found a bench to sit on, as I couldn't fit in the chairs. I got called back and struggled to get to the sign in booth, sitting on the edge of the chair. I slowly got up and went around the corner to wait my turn, having to stand to wait - I couldn't sit.

I got called in and struggled to get up into the chair to have my blood drawn. It was high and I didn't have the strength to get up on it well, not to mention, again, I was too big to sit back too far. I wedged my way into it and the phlebotomist put the arm across the front, closing in over my stomach. She really couldn't get it to lock down, and tried her best to pretend like it didn't happen, trying to make me feel less horrified. I got the draw done and slowly made my way out of the lab, having to rely on Randall to help me step off the curb and get back into the van to leave. It wore me out for the entire day.

Today, I went to the lab for blood work whose results will dictate whether or not I can quit taking blood thinners or have to remain on them for my lifetime.

I drove myself to the lab.
I walked right up to the door after stepping up onto the curb, by myself.
I signed myself in.
I took a seat on a bench, more out of the underlying flashbacks.
I got called to the sign in booth, hopped right up and sat down in the chair with no issue.
I went to the secondary waiting and sat in a chair with room to spare.
I got called in, hopped right up into the chair and slid back so far that my feet left the ground. I bent my knees far enough back to put them on the little bar underneath the chair.
The phlebotomist came in, asked me to put down the arm, and I did, with plenty of room to spare,
I got my draw, hopped down and walked right out to the van, got in and made my way home, out of the van, up the stairs and back in the house, unassisted.

It's the little things that mean so much now. Thank you Jesus. 

A Year Ago Today...

A Year ago today....

I woke in my usual spot on our broken down sofa, where I "slept". Randall and Daniel slept in out nice comfy sleigh bed, a bad I could no longer sleep in  because I couldn't throw my legs up onto it - it was just too high for me.

I use sleep as a figurative word, because I hardly ever got any. Before lights out, Randall would help me situate a pile of pillows behind me to try to get as comfortable as possible, sitting upright with my left leg as far up onto the sofa as possible, my right leg usually hanging down to the floor. I couldn't lay down - I couldn't breathe. Lights out at 10:00, and they'd stay out for a few hours. By 12:30 or so, I'd take a yard stick and reach with it to turn on the lights, and watch TV until about 3:00, until I was so exhausted that I could possibly get a bit more sleep. I'd turn the lights back off until Randall would get up about 6:00.

I spent the day sitting on the couch, having Randall and Daniel get me things, like water or food. It was father's day, but I didn't cook for Randall, I couldn't stand up that long. I thought a lot about my Dad, since it was the first father's day I'd spent without him. It's been a month since his death, so it was very fresh and raw. Yet, I didn't seem to get as upset as I felt like I should.

Then came the afternoon. I needed to go to the bathroom, so I asked Randall to help me up - I couldn't get off of the couch on my own. He pushed the coffee table back and planted his feet and reached for me. We did our usual "1..2..3.." and he pulled on my hands, but this time, instead of standing, I felt my legs buckle. Randall tried so hard to pull me up, but it was so painful, I ended up on my knees in the floor and begged him to let go. I had to get off of my knees, but my legs were so stiff I had to lay down to straighten them out, then sit up as quickly as possible. First I thought I was going to be able to use a chair and get myself up. I'm not sure what I was thinking - I couldn't even stand from the sofa.

I was at a total loss - what was I going to do? I sat on the floor for over 3 hours, scooting around on my butt, trying in vain to find a way to pull myself up. Mortified, I finally agreed to allow Randall to call 911. Within two minutes, we had a fire truck in front of the house. About 4 guys came in and were so kind. They made me feel so less self conscious, like they see this sort of thing all of the time. They took a sheet and ran it across my back at my shoulder blades and hooked it under my arm pits, bringing the ends around the front of me. There was one on each side of me, and one at the back, grabbed the back of my pants and in a 1 2 3, they raised me off of the floor, just like that, right onto my feet. They made sure I was steady, and I hobbled back to the sofa, thanking them profusely.

It took 4 grown men to lift me. Here I was, 420+ pounds, my legs so swollen that I could barely bend them, not to mention my 3X shirts so tight that my belly just hung out of them. I was in so much pain all of the time, and just genuinely miserable. My legs full of open, weeping sores, just wondering if everytime I closed my eyes was I ever going to open them again. I said my usual prayer for God to keep me alive, to somehow save me from this mess so I could watch my child grow up, so I could be the mother and wife I wanted to be, that they deserved.

On this date one year later....

I woke after a full night's sleep in my comfortable bed. I got up stuffy, the remnants of a horrible cold I am getting over, a cold that I am convinced had I caught this time last year, would have killed me.

I hopped on the scale...I am 349. I recently dug some older shirts out to wear, as my 3x shirts hang so very loose on me, and my 3x shorts hang off of my rear quite comically.

I listed some new items in my ebay store before heading to the kitchen and doing dishes.

 I ran the vacuum, made breakfast for Daniel, later made him lunch, gave him a bath and cleaned the bathroom.

I administered OTC cold meds to the entire family as needed, and did a few other odds and ends. I felt awesome, cold and all.

I didn't even take a water pill, and only had some mild swelling in my ankles that evening, mostly due to the extra activity.

I know I have a long way to go before I am as strong as I once was, but oh what a difference a year makes. I have only God to thank for this, and can't wait to compare this year to next.

B n B 2.0!

Welcome to the newest "upgrade" to  Blueberries and Blessings!

Borrowing a phrase from Daniel, I decided to call this phase of my blog 2.0, as the balance of focus has shifted from scrapping to survive, to recovery and beyond. Definitely an upgrade!

I plan on looking back on the previous year each day that I post my new "A YEAR AGO TODAY" posts, and comparing various aspects of my quality of life, or lack thereof, just to help me focus on how far I have come, and never forget where I have been. I never want to get into a position of taking my life for granted, and I'm hoping by remembering these daily struggles, I will remain as grateful as I am today, if not moreso.

I have some vivid memories of tomorrow, so these posts will start then, but my excitement to watch myself continue to develop into all that God wants me to be is so thrilling. I am so happy to be able to share it with all of you, or at least those of you who might be still around!