The Chair

Just about a year ago, our church remodeled one of the auditoriums. This is a gathering room where Wednesday night services are held, along with some special services involving certain ministries, etc.
    
Daniel's choir class sings, often in the Wednesday service, and we went to the auditorium to watch the fourth grade sing a few weeks after they reopened the auditorium.

Imagine my horror when I saw that the pews had been replaced with this theater like seating. My heart immediately sunk, because I knew I would never be able to squeeze my ample rear end into the seats. I precariously perched myself at the very edge of a seat, causing my knees to scream under the added pressure. I sat and felt hot, humiliated tears roll down my cheeks, tears I held back until Daniel left to join his choir,

I was so distraught that I penned a letter to the pastor, telling him I felt like I was being fat shamed out of the services. Randall tried to be as supportive as possible, telling me about several other members of the congregation that he saw also struggling with being comfortable in the new seats.  I love him for trying to help, but it just didn't.

I never sent the letter, and over time, I made my peace with the issue, and only went to the auditorium when I absolutely had to. It made my heart sad that I was missing services that the church had, but felt like I had no choice. As I lost some weight, I also luckily found a few Handicapped seats at the very back that had one  arm that would raise, and it allowed my overflow to overflow that side, making the seats more tolerable. At the same time, it made me feel even worse in a way, just making it all that much more blatantly obvious that my weight was handicapping me, preventing me from experiencing all that my life could offer me.

Two weeks ago, Randall and I started a training series at church on Sunday mornings - we were chosen to represent our Sunday School class, so there was no way we would decline the opportunity. Imagine my chagrin when I found out it was being held in the auditorium!

Of course, the instructor wanted everyone to sit at the front, which made me feel even more like a circus freak show when we sat in the back row where the handicapped seating was. I was just grateful that we weren't made even moire of a spectacle by the instructor.  

Fast forward to week two. We came in to class yesterday and took our seats. I did notice that sitting there was even more comfortable than before to sir there. I looked at Randall and said," I think I'm going to try a regular seat. " I could tell he was a little apprehensive, not wanting me to be hurt again.

I got up, and slowly lowered myself between the two arms.

All. The. Way. Back.

I fit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For the second time in just a year, these seats reduced me to tears, This time, very very happy tears. I had been a bit lax in my carbs lately - case in point - Randall and I split a muffin before entering the auditorium that day - and but was sure fire motivation.

Bacon and coffee for breakfast this morning, and then its on to a Memorial Day cookout at Mom's - steaks and cauli-rice.

Its nice to be back to being a loser.  Ha! Made you smile!

Recipe: Fried Green Tomatoes {Lower Carb, Grain Free, Gluten Free}

We are beginning to incorporate more low glycemic  fruits and vegetables into our diet, trying to find the right combo that keeps us healthy. All processed sugars, grains and large amounts of dairy are still pushed to the wayside, but when I saw that South Carolina peaches were in at the Farmer's Market, I did some research.

Berries are permitted in keto. Peaches have a glycemic rate of 42. Strawberries, which are allowed, are 40. Cherries, another fave of mine, are in the 20's. Peaches have 12 net grams of carbs. I realized that adding more of the foods God made for us to eat would only put us at 50 or so carbs a day, which is still way low. I believe for is, its going to be worth it.

We got some green tomatoes when we picked up the peaches, and I fried those puppies up today. I used almond meal instead of flour, to mimic the texture of corn meal, which is a pretty traditional coating. 

Total winner - two happy southern campers here!

Fried Green Tomatoes 

{Lower Carb, Grain free, Gluten Free}

 

• 1 - 2 Green Tomatoes, sliced
• 1/2 c. almond meal
• 1/4 c grated parmesan
• salt and pepper to taste
• choice of oil for frying
  Slice tomatoes in about 1/2 inch slices
  Mix almond meal and cheese together, with s & p
  Dredge each slice and place in lightly oiled skillet / pan
   Fry 5-7 minutes on medium, turn gingerly with spatula and brown on other side
  Serve immediately - can be transferred to a cookie sheet for reheating later (15 minutes at 375)

  5 net carbs for serving as shown in picture

   

De-Funking the Defunct

I'm finally doing some housecleaning! Not literally, but of the literary kind.

Over these last few years, I have begun several blogs, only to let them fall to the wayside. I've always been partial to this one, and always seemed to be drawn back to it. Since there were so few posts on them they remained obscure and buried in cyber space.

So, I decided to add tabs to the top, each with the title of the blog. Each post is under the tab, the most recent first. This is referring to the last 4 tabs at the top of the main page.

If I have something on my mind that would have been most suited for one of these, I will write it there, along with a heads up post on the main B&B site. I'm excited to see it all coming together!

Feel free to peruse the tabs. I hope you enjoy!

La La La Life Goes on....

Life has a funny way of taking up all of your time when you let it.

Today is May 22, 2017.

My last post was November 9, 2016.

its been 195 days.

Thanksgiving came.

Christmas passed.

New Year's came, along with another bout of cellulitis that had me being the guest of the Orange Park Medical Center for 5 days.

Daniel turned 10.

Easter passed.

And in between, I cooked and cleaned and went outta my head!! Sorry, just a little nod to Alice now that they started showing re-runs!

I've always got things swimming around in my head that I want to share, then something always comes up, and I'm pulled away. I've been feeling that pull stronger than normal lately, so its about time to do something about it. 

So, here's my pledge that I start getting some of these thoughts tapped out on my keyboard going forward.

Historical Day X 2

So, today I get up at 6:00, feeling pretty darn awake, considering I fell asleep about 1:30, making at 3:00 and was awake for nearly another hour, so about two hours of sleep for me.

It was quite a historic day. Here we are on the dawn of a new presidency, full of historic significance. Our president elect will be the oldest president sworn in in history, and bring with him the first son to live in the white house since JFK Jr. 

When Daniel got up, I had him finish his electoral college vote tally that he started last night, adding Pennsylvania to his tally to figure out who won the election. It was so much fun to watch his face light up at the revelation.

We had a light school day since we were both tired, and I took a lil nap in the afternoon, before heading to church for Daniel to go to choir. Randall and I ran to Wal Mart and picked up some more things for Thanksgiving dinner (shelf stable items) before heading back to pick up Daniel and head home for the evening.

It was while we were headed back I realized the date. November 9. It had been one year since I was released from the hospital. A whole year.

One year ago today, I spent an anxious morning and early afternoon waiting to be released. I remember Randall wheeling me to the van, and I remember  opening the door, thinking about how hard it was to get up into it the last time I had. I stepped up and geared up to hoist myself in, and hopped right in! A pleasant surprise, The next suprse came just seconds later when I realized that I no longer nearly filled up with entire space on that side, and I was able to easily fasten my seat-belt, which I had gotten to where I would not get it around my swollen belly.

When we got hoime, with the help of a walker, I shuffled up the sidewalk and had another flashback - the steps. Oh how hard they were. I saw the brand new railing that Randall and our Landlord put in for me and silently prayed that it would help. I sent up with steps with no issues. It was a relief to say the least.

I was still weak, but able to get around, including sleeping in the bed, which I hadn;t done in months before leaving.

Today, I am thankful for the additional mobility - no walkers, although I do still use the scooters when we go to the store. My knees have been bothering me a lot laterly, and its been very discouraging, but hwne I think back to where I was a year ago, I am reminded how far I have come.

Praise God, and God bless our President elect,

Happy Halloween!

Ahhh Halloween. Its the day of magic for Daniel. He gets to dress up and gets tons of sugary treats - what could be better??

Growing up, I rarely wore a store bought costume. My Mom would always make mine, and I always won the costume contests in school, thanks to her creativity and ingenuity. I wanted to emulate her with Daniel from the start.

Then came my downward spiral. I still managed to make his costume, but I rode around in the back of the van for trick or treat, while Daniel, his cousins and his Nee Nee would walk the neighborhood. It was quite embarrassing.

One year ago, I was in Avante. I was slowly getting stronger, able to take PT and talk again. Randall brought Daniel to me to help him dress in a store bought costume of Robin from Teen Titans Go. I tried to make it my own by having Randall get him a black wig which I spiked with hair gel. But I missed it. All of it. Not even a ride in the back of the van.

This year, Daniel was sporting a mama original again, and I resumed my place in the back of the van....






This time, instead of being upset about riding, I was thrilled to be participating. Another plus? I got back into my jack o lantern capris and my pumpkin shirt for the festivities - haven't been able to even think about squeezing into them in at least three years!

The goal for next year? Hoofing it around myself!!

Trunks of Treats

Our church has been hosting a trunk of treats since 2014. The first year, we participated, and it was a blast. So much so that we immediately planned our theme for 2015 - we were going to do a trunk based off of the movie Up.

Fast forward to 2015 - the best laid plans, as they say. Trunk of Treats was held on September 25.
On that day, I was 10 days post op from my tracheotomy, and just a bit over a week since I was transferred from Orange Park Medical to Specialty Hospital, which was actually my favorite of the three places I stayed, if there is such a thing as a favorite.

Randall got Daniel dressed in his costume, and took him to the church. I wouldn't have had it any other way - I already felt like I had presented so many family memories with my immobility as I declined over the last few years, and wasn't about to stand in the way of this, too.
On their way home, they stopped by and visited me. The memory is more what I have been told happened than actual remembrance.

This year, we had retribution. I worked hours preparing our costumes, the decor for the van. And then came trunk of treats night...

The van was decked out too...






We had so much fun - everyone loved our theme, and its so wonderful to open up and minister to all of these families.

Thank you, Jesus, for all that you have done for me, for us.

I Don't Believe in Coincindences

Sunday morning, we got up and went to church as usual, although I spent a lot of  time sitting on Saturday, listing new items in the ebay store. So much time in fact, I was stiff and achy. I have to admit that that I was getting a little discouraged.

Anytime I have a bad day, it sends me into a mini panic that things are headed down the rabbit hole that I was falling into pre - hospital stay.

The heat had been causing a few little blisters to form and my ankles are swelling daily. I can't seem to take into account that I am no longer taking a daily water pill and just freak.

Sunday afternoon came quickly and we headed back to church for an award ceremony for Daniel to get his 3rd grade memory work trophy. I was thinking about how bad my legs had started to look. I had Randall take a pic of them later that same evening....

The only reason I wanted these pics was for comparison. Comparison to what, you ask? While we were sitting and waiting for the ceremony to start, Randall happened to come across a set of pics on his phone, of my legs, that we took when I was having them wrapped last year. We took them because they were looking so much better than they had been, and I was so excited and watned to show them to my Mom.....

I asked him if he knew when they were taken, so he checked.
July 24, 2015.
Exactly one year ago.

I don't believe in coincidences. I believe 100% that God had Randall find these pictures as His encouragement to keep looking at the bigger picture, at how far I have one in one short year. It totally worked, too. Thank you, Lord.

VBS Then, Then, Then and Now

Vacation Bible School has been a favorite of Daniel's since he went back in Kindergarten.  The Theme that year was Colossal Coaster. He had a ball. By the end of the week, he was pretty tuckered, and I was worn out. I thought about how neat it would be to volunteer to help out next year.

Next year came, the theme was Agency D3. He was in first grade, and was so excited. I took him diligently each day, although it was so hard on me. While the thoughts of volunteering was fleeting, I just knew that I'd get back into shape in time to volunteer next year.

Next year, which was last year, came. Not only was I not in shape enough to volunteer, I was not even well enough to take him. I spent the week shedding guilty tears to myself, knowing that I was the only reason he was missing a week that he so looked forward to each summer.

 As VBS time approached this year, I realized, I was well enough to volunteer this year. I was so excited - probably as excited as Daniel was. So, as the days for our Sumerged VBS arrived, Randall joined in, taking a week off of work to volunteer, too....

It was a long, hard week, but we went all week, then to Sunday School where our teacher said he was surprised to see us, figuring I'd be too worn out to be there that day. Not only were we there, we went to VBS Family night that night, getting a chance to hear Daniel sing before the festivities....

 

I'll admit that I nearly didn't make it out to the street with everyone for my aching legs, and that I grouched around, but it was fun, and I did make it.  

 

 

2078 children were registered that week, with an average daily attendance of 1731.

168 children prayed to receive Christ, and we got to see 16 kids baptised that last night.

Praise God!!!  

 

So very thankful for the ability to serve at long last. 

A Year Ago, and A Year Before That...A New Meaning for Independence Day

July 4th. When we as Americans celebrate our independence. Yet, these last few years, I have been anything but.

Let's get into the wayback machine....

July 4, 2014.
I sat on the couch.
All day.
We went no where.
Randall grilled, and nightfall came. He and Daniel went out onto the screened back porch to light sparklers. I shuffled out and sat om the steps with them, and came right back in after the last spark went out.

July 4, 2015.
I sat on the couch.
All day. We went no where.
Daniel and Randall went to the porch with sparklers. I stayed on the couch.

July 4, 2016.
I got up, packed up some online sales, then got some ribs on for the cookout we were going to take to Mom's later.
Randall went out to mow, and I crushed up some herbs that I grew, harvested and dried. He came in and said that our neighbor had stopped by and told us to get some of the tomatoes that she had growing in her yard. I packed up the herbs in containers and took them to her, and picked a whole bowlful of beauties.....

 

Then, we went to Mom's, where instead of heading in the kitchen, parking my butt at the table and not moving for the whole visit, I went outside to watch the kids have a water battle....

 

Then go back in for the cookout, only to come back out as the sun got lower to have some s'mores for dessert...

 

Followed by sparklers, smoke bombs and a few other shiny things....

 

It was the best day so far. So thankful for a wonderful day with loved ones. Its been so much fun, making up for lost time....