About a year ago, I went to have blood work done at a local lab. I cant even remember what it was for. Not surprising, as my mind was not very sharp back then, likely due to too little oxygen.
Randall and Daniel went with me - it was a Saturday morning. I couldn't drive then - I was so swelled I couldn't fit behind the wheel. Not that I felt like driving to start with. Randall had to help me up on the curb and I shuffled in. He signed me in, and I thankfully found a bench to sit on, as I couldn't fit in the chairs. I got called back and struggled to get to the sign in booth, sitting on the edge of the chair. I slowly got up and went around the corner to wait my turn, having to stand to wait - I couldn't sit.
I got called in and struggled to get up into the chair to have my blood drawn. It was high and I didn't have the strength to get up on it well, not to mention, again, I was too big to sit back too far. I wedged my way into it and the phlebotomist put the arm across the front, closing in over my stomach. She really couldn't get it to lock down, and tried her best to pretend like it didn't happen, trying to make me feel less horrified. I got the draw done and slowly made my way out of the lab, having to rely on Randall to help me step off the curb and get back into the van to leave. It wore me out for the entire day.
Today, I went to the lab for blood work whose results will dictate whether or not I can quit taking blood thinners or have to remain on them for my lifetime.
I drove myself to the lab.
I walked right up to the door after stepping up onto the curb, by myself.
I signed myself in.
I took a seat on a bench, more out of the underlying flashbacks.
I got called to the sign in booth, hopped right up and sat down in the chair with no issue.
I went to the secondary waiting and sat in a chair with room to spare.
I got called in, hopped right up into the chair and slid back so far that my feet left the ground. I bent my knees far enough back to put them on the little bar underneath the chair.
The phlebotomist came in, asked me to put down the arm, and I did, with plenty of room to spare,
I got my draw, hopped down and walked right out to the van, got in and made my way home, out of the van, up the stairs and back in the house, unassisted.
It's the little things that mean so much now. Thank you Jesus.
Thursday, June 30, 2016
Tuesday, June 21, 2016
A Year Ago Today...
A Year ago today....
I woke in my usual spot on our broken down sofa, where I "slept". Randall and Daniel slept in out nice comfy sleigh bed, a bad I could no longer sleep in because I couldn't throw my legs up onto it - it was just too high for me.
I use sleep as a figurative word, because I hardly ever got any. Before lights out, Randall would help me situate a pile of pillows behind me to try to get as comfortable as possible, sitting upright with my left leg as far up onto the sofa as possible, my right leg usually hanging down to the floor. I couldn't lay down - I couldn't breathe. Lights out at 10:00, and they'd stay out for a few hours. By 12:30 or so, I'd take a yard stick and reach with it to turn on the lights, and watch TV until about 3:00, until I was so exhausted that I could possibly get a bit more sleep. I'd turn the lights back off until Randall would get up about 6:00.
I spent the day sitting on the couch, having Randall and Daniel get me things, like water or food. It was father's day, but I didn't cook for Randall, I couldn't stand up that long. I thought a lot about my Dad, since it was the first father's day I'd spent without him. It's been a month since his death, so it was very fresh and raw. Yet, I didn't seem to get as upset as I felt like I should.
Then came the afternoon. I needed to go to the bathroom, so I asked Randall to help me up - I couldn't get off of the couch on my own. He pushed the coffee table back and planted his feet and reached for me. We did our usual "1..2..3.." and he pulled on my hands, but this time, instead of standing, I felt my legs buckle. Randall tried so hard to pull me up, but it was so painful, I ended up on my knees in the floor and begged him to let go. I had to get off of my knees, but my legs were so stiff I had to lay down to straighten them out, then sit up as quickly as possible. First I thought I was going to be able to use a chair and get myself up. I'm not sure what I was thinking - I couldn't even stand from the sofa.
I was at a total loss - what was I going to do? I sat on the floor for over 3 hours, scooting around on my butt, trying in vain to find a way to pull myself up. Mortified, I finally agreed to allow Randall to call 911. Within two minutes, we had a fire truck in front of the house. About 4 guys came in and were so kind. They made me feel so less self conscious, like they see this sort of thing all of the time. They took a sheet and ran it across my back at my shoulder blades and hooked it under my arm pits, bringing the ends around the front of me. There was one on each side of me, and one at the back, grabbed the back of my pants and in a 1 2 3, they raised me off of the floor, just like that, right onto my feet. They made sure I was steady, and I hobbled back to the sofa, thanking them profusely.
It took 4 grown men to lift me. Here I was, 420+ pounds, my legs so swollen that I could barely bend them, not to mention my 3X shirts so tight that my belly just hung out of them. I was in so much pain all of the time, and just genuinely miserable. My legs full of open, weeping sores, just wondering if everytime I closed my eyes was I ever going to open them again. I said my usual prayer for God to keep me alive, to somehow save me from this mess so I could watch my child grow up, so I could be the mother and wife I wanted to be, that they deserved.
On this date one year later....
I woke after a full night's sleep in my comfortable bed. I got up stuffy, the remnants of a horrible cold I am getting over, a cold that I am convinced had I caught this time last year, would have killed me.
I hopped on the scale...I am 349. I recently dug some older shirts out to wear, as my 3x shirts hang so very loose on me, and my 3x shorts hang off of my rear quite comically.
I listed some new items in my ebay store before heading to the kitchen and doing dishes.
I ran the vacuum, made breakfast for Daniel, later made him lunch, gave him a bath and cleaned the bathroom.
I administered OTC cold meds to the entire family as needed, and did a few other odds and ends. I felt awesome, cold and all.
I didn't even take a water pill, and only had some mild swelling in my ankles that evening, mostly due to the extra activity.
I know I have a long way to go before I am as strong as I once was, but oh what a difference a year makes. I have only God to thank for this, and can't wait to compare this year to next.
I woke in my usual spot on our broken down sofa, where I "slept". Randall and Daniel slept in out nice comfy sleigh bed, a bad I could no longer sleep in because I couldn't throw my legs up onto it - it was just too high for me.
I use sleep as a figurative word, because I hardly ever got any. Before lights out, Randall would help me situate a pile of pillows behind me to try to get as comfortable as possible, sitting upright with my left leg as far up onto the sofa as possible, my right leg usually hanging down to the floor. I couldn't lay down - I couldn't breathe. Lights out at 10:00, and they'd stay out for a few hours. By 12:30 or so, I'd take a yard stick and reach with it to turn on the lights, and watch TV until about 3:00, until I was so exhausted that I could possibly get a bit more sleep. I'd turn the lights back off until Randall would get up about 6:00.
I spent the day sitting on the couch, having Randall and Daniel get me things, like water or food. It was father's day, but I didn't cook for Randall, I couldn't stand up that long. I thought a lot about my Dad, since it was the first father's day I'd spent without him. It's been a month since his death, so it was very fresh and raw. Yet, I didn't seem to get as upset as I felt like I should.
Then came the afternoon. I needed to go to the bathroom, so I asked Randall to help me up - I couldn't get off of the couch on my own. He pushed the coffee table back and planted his feet and reached for me. We did our usual "1..2..3.." and he pulled on my hands, but this time, instead of standing, I felt my legs buckle. Randall tried so hard to pull me up, but it was so painful, I ended up on my knees in the floor and begged him to let go. I had to get off of my knees, but my legs were so stiff I had to lay down to straighten them out, then sit up as quickly as possible. First I thought I was going to be able to use a chair and get myself up. I'm not sure what I was thinking - I couldn't even stand from the sofa.
I was at a total loss - what was I going to do? I sat on the floor for over 3 hours, scooting around on my butt, trying in vain to find a way to pull myself up. Mortified, I finally agreed to allow Randall to call 911. Within two minutes, we had a fire truck in front of the house. About 4 guys came in and were so kind. They made me feel so less self conscious, like they see this sort of thing all of the time. They took a sheet and ran it across my back at my shoulder blades and hooked it under my arm pits, bringing the ends around the front of me. There was one on each side of me, and one at the back, grabbed the back of my pants and in a 1 2 3, they raised me off of the floor, just like that, right onto my feet. They made sure I was steady, and I hobbled back to the sofa, thanking them profusely.
It took 4 grown men to lift me. Here I was, 420+ pounds, my legs so swollen that I could barely bend them, not to mention my 3X shirts so tight that my belly just hung out of them. I was in so much pain all of the time, and just genuinely miserable. My legs full of open, weeping sores, just wondering if everytime I closed my eyes was I ever going to open them again. I said my usual prayer for God to keep me alive, to somehow save me from this mess so I could watch my child grow up, so I could be the mother and wife I wanted to be, that they deserved.
On this date one year later....
I woke after a full night's sleep in my comfortable bed. I got up stuffy, the remnants of a horrible cold I am getting over, a cold that I am convinced had I caught this time last year, would have killed me.
I hopped on the scale...I am 349. I recently dug some older shirts out to wear, as my 3x shirts hang so very loose on me, and my 3x shorts hang off of my rear quite comically.
I listed some new items in my ebay store before heading to the kitchen and doing dishes.
I ran the vacuum, made breakfast for Daniel, later made him lunch, gave him a bath and cleaned the bathroom.
I administered OTC cold meds to the entire family as needed, and did a few other odds and ends. I felt awesome, cold and all.
I didn't even take a water pill, and only had some mild swelling in my ankles that evening, mostly due to the extra activity.
I know I have a long way to go before I am as strong as I once was, but oh what a difference a year makes. I have only God to thank for this, and can't wait to compare this year to next.
Monday, June 20, 2016
B n B 2.0!
Welcome to the newest "upgrade" to Blueberries and Blessings!
Borrowing a phrase from Daniel, I decided to call this phase of my blog 2.0, as the balance of focus has shifted from scrapping to survive, to recovery and beyond. Definitely an upgrade!
I plan on looking back on the previous year each day that I post my new "A YEAR AGO TODAY" posts, and comparing various aspects of my quality of life, or lack thereof, just to help me focus on how far I have come, and never forget where I have been. I never want to get into a position of taking my life for granted, and I'm hoping by remembering these daily struggles, I will remain as grateful as I am today, if not moreso.
I have some vivid memories of tomorrow, so these posts will start then, but my excitement to watch myself continue to develop into all that God wants me to be is so thrilling. I am so happy to be able to share it with all of you, or at least those of you who might be still around!
Borrowing a phrase from Daniel, I decided to call this phase of my blog 2.0, as the balance of focus has shifted from scrapping to survive, to recovery and beyond. Definitely an upgrade!
I plan on looking back on the previous year each day that I post my new "A YEAR AGO TODAY" posts, and comparing various aspects of my quality of life, or lack thereof, just to help me focus on how far I have come, and never forget where I have been. I never want to get into a position of taking my life for granted, and I'm hoping by remembering these daily struggles, I will remain as grateful as I am today, if not moreso.
I have some vivid memories of tomorrow, so these posts will start then, but my excitement to watch myself continue to develop into all that God wants me to be is so thrilling. I am so happy to be able to share it with all of you, or at least those of you who might be still around!
Monday, March 21, 2016
Two Weeks Down
Short and sweet...
Randall started at 283 - after one week: 271. This week: 267. He lost 4 pounds, a total of 16 pounds.
I weighed in at 358 .8 -- after one week: 344.8. This week 339.8 I lost 5 pounds a total of 19 pounds.
I've got some sort of stomach thing going on. Feeling rather icky. Hope to be back on soon.
Randall started at 283 - after one week: 271. This week: 267. He lost 4 pounds, a total of 16 pounds.
I weighed in at 358 .8 -- after one week: 344.8. This week 339.8 I lost 5 pounds a total of 19 pounds.
I've got some sort of stomach thing going on. Feeling rather icky. Hope to be back on soon.
Thursday, March 17, 2016
RECIPE: Chicken Pesto Pasta Salad {Whole30, Paleo, Low Carb}
On our third day of following Whole30, I decided to make a salad, but didn't want your run of the mill salad. I found one in a magazine and got so excited about it.
The original recipe had a few extra ingredients, and called for the zucchini to be spiralized. Naturally, I couldn't find my spiralizer, so I pulled out my veggie peeler and made ribbons instead,.
It was the best meal we had all week! It will make regular rotation for us, during the Whole30 and beyond. It was refreshing and oh so flavorful, not to mention easy to throw together. Randall already told me that the next time I make it I need to double the recipe.
I figured what better day to share a lovely green dish than on St. Patrick's Day? The pics aren't the greatest - I took them with my phone just seconds before the entire bowl disappeared. I promise you you'll love it!!
Chicken Pesto Pasta Salad {Whole 30, Paleo, Low Carb}
Ingredients:
1-2 large zucchini, cut into thin ribbons or spiralized
2 c. cooked chicken, cubed / shredded into chunks
1 bunch fresh basil
1 bunch fresh parsley
2 cloves garlic
3 tbsp olive oil
2 tsp lemon juice
1 c grape tomatoes, cur in half
salt & pepper to taste
Instructions:
Place chicken and zucchini in a bowl
Add Basil, Parsley, lemon juice, garlic, salt and pepper to a food processor
Pulse until you achieve a pourable consistency, adding a few tablespoons of water if needed
Pour over chicken and zucchini and toss until coated
add tomatoes and fold in carefully
adjust seasonings and serve immediately or chill first
adapted from Paleo Magazine
Monday, March 14, 2016
Whole30: One Week Down...Our Progress So Far
Here we are starting our second week, and what a difference a week makes!
In case you missed the day one post, here is our comparison:
Randall weighed 283 - THIS MORNING: 271. He lost 12 pounds
I weighed in at 358 .8 -- THIS MORNING: 344.8. I lost 14 pounds!!
My fasting blood sugar was 157. THIS MORNING: 114. Down 43 points!!
My overall feeling right now is some slight nausea, definite gas, and joint pain especially my knees. I look forward to seeing all of these things change this month. THIS MORNING: I haven't felt this good in years - no nausea, no tummy issues at all, and my joint pain is GONE. Not lower....GONE.
Randall feels better too. Both of our moods have improved.
I decided to take a progress pic yesterday, just for historical sake. When I first looked at it I thought "Aw man, look how huge I am....I look no different." Then I looked at the only "before" pic I had. To think it wasn't even the heaviest I got. Wow.
Now I'm at 109 pounds lost - the most I've ever lost in one "try". I hit 100 lost in 2009, and immediately started going back up. Speaking of most....who loses 14 pounbds in one week? The lost I've ever lost in one week is 6.5.
I prayed for weeks asking God to help me find something that would be healthy for me and help me lose the weight and I know He guided me here. I am so happy and so blessed! Daniel is going to finally have the parents he deserves. It can't get any better than that!
I'll summarize the rest of the week's foods in another post later today. In the meantime, please, join me in a happy dance!!
In case you missed the day one post, here is our comparison:
Randall weighed 283 - THIS MORNING: 271. He lost 12 pounds
I weighed in at 358 .8 -- THIS MORNING: 344.8. I lost 14 pounds!!
My fasting blood sugar was 157. THIS MORNING: 114. Down 43 points!!
My overall feeling right now is some slight nausea, definite gas, and joint pain especially my knees. I look forward to seeing all of these things change this month. THIS MORNING: I haven't felt this good in years - no nausea, no tummy issues at all, and my joint pain is GONE. Not lower....GONE.
Randall feels better too. Both of our moods have improved.
I decided to take a progress pic yesterday, just for historical sake. When I first looked at it I thought "Aw man, look how huge I am....I look no different." Then I looked at the only "before" pic I had. To think it wasn't even the heaviest I got. Wow.
Now I'm at 109 pounds lost - the most I've ever lost in one "try". I hit 100 lost in 2009, and immediately started going back up. Speaking of most....who loses 14 pounbds in one week? The lost I've ever lost in one week is 6.5.
I prayed for weeks asking God to help me find something that would be healthy for me and help me lose the weight and I know He guided me here. I am so happy and so blessed! Daniel is going to finally have the parents he deserves. It can't get any better than that!
I'll summarize the rest of the week's foods in another post later today. In the meantime, please, join me in a happy dance!!
Friday, March 11, 2016
Whole30: Day Four
More progress! I'm now down about seven pounds Randall's down 8.
Wednesday night we went to the store and picked up a few things that I was so excited about.
One was tomato juice as I'm getting really tired of drinking only water. Another was some sausage that did not contain anything we shouldn't have.
Breakfast consisted of two of those sausages, along with a few baby heirloom tomatoes and some avocado along with a big ol glass of tomato juice. I was so full I felt like I had just eaten
Thanksgiving dinner. It was crazy.
Lunch I also got some ground chicken breast and I made some homemade sausage and had two patties and an apple for lunch.
Dinner was tomatillo chicken soup. I really liked it but it wasn't a favorite of Randall. I think the acidity of the tomatillos didn't sit too well with his taste buds.
The only snacks I had or handful of sunflower seeds and a few plantain chips.
I've realized that the true Whole30 does not want you snacking. I told Randall This and like he said right now things seem to be working well for us so why change it as long as we're both happy and satisfied? So we decided unless we hit a plateau will keep going as is.
My blood sugar was 118 again today and I'm good with that.
As day five is nearly over I'll be reporting on it tomorrow, but going into the weekend has me thinking. It's usually when we always cheated on our other diets. We're also so busy, it's sometimes hard not to just grab something somewhere. I know we can do this. Can't wait to report what happens!
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